July 12, 2016
I think I get it or at least parts of it: it’s mostly about the territory and not necessarily a genuine yearning.
This is all not to say that it isn’t legitimate, it absolutely is.
I just wish it were simpler however unlikely and (maybe) painful that sounds.
—
Someday, who knows.
July 3, 2016
It begins like this (I think):
I am not of you. It’s either the other way round or both or none.
You can call it a shitty welcome I suppose, but then again I was just standing here, clearly not longing after amelioration: if at all, that only happens after it’s begun.
June 16, 2016
It can sometimes be exasperating to yet again find out that reality can’t be forced, even when you try your best to not be aware of either reality, or of forcing it.
As if this obliviousness could transform it all into a charming little equation, one with a soothing moral balance leaning towards fairness (independently of what “fair” means to you.)
Contemplate, rather. Don’t you know that the shapes you assemble aren’t figments?
—
Yes you do.
June 13, 2016
Nothing happened yet everything was just right. The night was short but carried with it an intangible melody that no one seemed to notice.
Maybe because we didn’t pay heed to all the tiny twitches of light: we were lost in their lithe concert, more eloquent than any single one of them.
Maybe because it was the first night or the last one or both.
—
Somehow, we were not surprised.
May 27, 2016
You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.
Robert M. Pirsig — Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
May 22, 2016
Look,
Since I imagine that you just assume that I know what to do next, let me be perfectly clear: I have no clue.
What’s more I’m not even certain that a “before” exists to command an hypothetical “next”.
(But I wouldn’t mind at all if it did.)
May 6, 2016
The occupational hazard of making a spectacle of yourself, over the long haul, is that at some point you buy a ticket too.
Thomas McGuane — Panama
April 21, 2016
April 19, 2016
There isn’t one, is there? You thought that walking away would protect you from the cold, didn’t you?
You were oh so sure that it would be enough to cobble up a fortress built by Nature for herself against infection and the hand of war, but it never was, how could it?
On the other hand it is all so pretty and you’ve been told that pretty suffices.
* and yes, I do know whom I misquote.
April 6, 2016
Doesn’t this urgency to publicly announce your impregnable privacy and wise majesty strike you as a bit of a paradox? It’s as if you would open a window to proclaim to the world that it is closed.
Did you ever consider that the world might not care whether it’s open or not?
March 23, 2016
This is all there is, sorry.
Just a few qualities and many shortcomings (all of which vary over time, true, yet their relative proportions stay constant.)
Granted, none of this is in any way remarkable but I hope it presents an explanation, or maybe simply a sufficiently valid reason as to why I have no opinions to offer about this particular predicament or enchantment of yours.
Even if I wanted to I’d still have nothing to add.
March 3, 2016
He said that he often thought about those signs that we’re absolutely certain to have shaped significant decisions in our lives. About how we’re generally inept at reading signs at all and then arbitralily choose some to be more relevant than others. I wonder, he said, if the signs we’re most inept at reading aren’t exactly the ones that actually matter most instead of the ones we single out.
Then again, we could be simply misinterpreting not the signs but that which we promote to be our life’s milestones.
February 14, 2016
What’s surprising (to me) is not so much that we harbor childish reactions beneath a veneer of maturity, that much is obvious.
It’s rather to discover that the veneer is paper-thin, and especially that none of this makes it any thicker.
January 31, 2016
But on that particular day I did not even begin to feel interested in this chore, and was suddenly more deeply bored than I have ever been before, and just turned around and went back inside. Which made me wonder why I wanted to do this chore at all, on other days, and also which was real: my slight interest on other days or my profound boredom now. And it made me wonder if I really should be profoundly bored by this chore all the time and never do it again, and if there was something wrong with my mind that I was not bored by it all the time.
Lydia Davis ― Can’t and Won’t: Stories
January 11, 2016
No
January 8, 2016
In no affairs of mere prejudice, pro or con, do we deduce inferences with entire certainty, even from the most simple data.
Edgar Allen Poe — The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket
…In other words, cavēte theorema Bayes, as explained by John Horgan.
December 25, 2015
Immer dichter fiel der Schnee vom Himmel und senkte sich auf die Felsen und auf die satten grünen Wiesen. Egger ging weiter. Er achtete genau auf seine Schritte, um nicht auszurutschen, und alle paar Meter wischte er sich mit dem Handrücken die Flocken von Wimpern und Augenbrauen. Dabei stieg eine Erinnerung in ihm hoch, ein kurzer Gedanke an etwas, das sehr lange zurücklag, kaum mehr als ein verwischtes Bild. “Es ist noch nicht so weit”, sagte er leise, und der Winter legte sich übers Tal.
Robert Seethaler — Ein ganzes Leben
December 22, 2015
Não te habituaste já a olhar para o espelho de manhã e ver uma mancha disforme que ainda não se deitou?
Hoje só é diferente porque sonhaste e te lembraste do teu sonho e no teu sonho levantavas vôo e quando acordaste estavas ainda a cinco centímetros acima da cama e então pensaste que ias acordar mas já estavas acordado e deixaste a manhã afagar-te e a manhã disse-te assim:
“Eu sou só outro sonho e tu tens asas em todos os sonhos”
Só estás assim porque sentiste uma alegria a ferver dentro de ti, uma vontade de cantar e correr e abraçar toda a gente e escrever quilómetros.
Não é de ti que se trata. Não tens razão de ser egoísta assim; se te desses conta que só sentes o que sobra de teres existido no sonho de outra pessoa, não te zangavas assim contigo.
December 21, 2015
Percebo-te lindamente.
No entanto, e sem querer retirar um nanograma que seja àquilo que é objectivamente a pouco óbvia façanha de reconhecer um marco, há que admitir que isso não ilumina em nada o mistério que é tudo o que vais querer a seguir.
Teres chegado aqui é um alívio sim, mas tens a noção de que não é aqui que acaba, não tens?
December 21, 2015
Egon Schiele — Die Umarmung (1917)
Ils sont nus maintenant, et leurs peaux que l’obscurité fusionne prennent même température et mêmes nuances carbone, ils se tendent une main jusqu’à se toucher par dessus le lit, jusqu’à se rapprocher l’un contre l’autre, alors c’est le grand tâtonnement, l’opéra tactile, et les corps à fragmentation multiple qui se débrouillent parfaitement bien dans la pénombre.
Maylis de Kerangal — Naissance d’un pont
