Cheap Paint

 

This mantra of “forgiving yourself no matter what”, is deranged; not only does it assume merit by default, but also (and this is the truly demented bit), tries (and fails) to erase the unforgivables, as if their gravity couldn’t possibly have a pull that’s worth considering.

It’s a thin coat of cheap paint, and it will inevitably peel off.

 

 

• • •

The Feel-Good Rethoric

 

Looking at this construction at a remove, it’s easy to see the trap. Setting out to love yourself because that’s the only way to gain love from others is a knot that undoes itself when pulled; needlessness as the tactic to get something one needs is impossible. But it’s an attractive emotional tautology in part because it keeps those who subscribe to it trapped in its hamster wheel, forever able to blame ourselves for wanting, when the fact of wanting is both the reason for never finding a relationship and the proof that we are not ready for it.

Helena Fitzgerald — There is no such thing as being ready for love.

 

 

• • •